The Frye's, Playdates, Bathtime fun and Holland's Second Birthday!!

Some pictures I finally got off of the camera disc....Here we are with some of our best friends from Shreveport, Megan and Chris Frye. The will be moving to Searcy, Arkansas in a bit for a Youth Minister position! We are so proud to have them as friends. Our children just love to be around them. They will be excellent parents one day. Love you guys!

Playdate with Emma and Cherie, Crystal and Holland! They always have so much fun together.

Silly B, always so happy to be naked at bathtime! haha!

Daddy and her love to snuggle together, too! Poor H was already in bed! He has been so sleepy lately, B is going second for bathtime now.

What a tiny mess!

Holland turned two!!

Harrison and his sweet friend Emma eating their cake.

The beautiful birthday girl! She is cracking me up with her big chunck of cake, my kind of girl!

Yummy!

Blowing our horns! haha

He gathered up all of Toby's toys

In his"boat"

sweet Emma

Random thoughts with Paige

So, today has not been a good day. I really wanted to have a blog that I could just go to from time to time and 'be real.' You know? About stuff that is painful and ugly, and that just downright stinks. But I don't have that yet, so today I am writing for me, the writer, and not for anyone else. If you are a personality that will be offended by the truth, steer clear of this one:

I was day dreaming, more like day-maring earliar, and I started to wonder why life gets harder as we age. I guess that is why 'they' say "the older the wiser." Is it because we experience more pain as we grow, or because we actually are learning more?

I look at my children and I see what is hard for them. Crawling, walking, eating, communication all around. Difficult things for them, not for me.
Then I look at my life. Raising children eleven months apart. paying all of the bills on time. having time for my marriage. or a shower. I see people get sick. babies getting sick. people dying. War. Soldiers leaving for war. Motor vehicle accidents. the dang swine flu. cancer. losing a family pet. murders. yatta yatta....

I guess this all sounds pretty negative, but today is a negative day for me.

I'm an honest person, almost to a fault, and right now I'm not seeing the light in the dang 'ole tunnel.

I'm just angry.

I don't want anyone telling me that "Everything happens for a reason" or any of that mess we say when there is nothing else to say. I just want to be mad for one day without anyone trying to tell me to get over my mood.

I'm mad.

I'm mad because I don't live in California anymore and that I live in Louisiana. I'm sick of waking my babies up to mosquito bites ON THEIR FACES.

I'm mad because I never graduated college and can't get a decent job to support my family (minus daycare costs) in this state.

I'm mad because bills suck. Where do they come from? They are everywhere, everyday.

I'm mad that after I had two babies my fabulous shoes no longer fit and I now wear flip flops everyday.

I'm mad because people shouldn't be dying to defend this selfish country I live in.

I'm mad because no one understands what ANYTHING is like UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO YOU. Not a clue.

I'm mad because people judge other people because they are not the same.

I'm mad because our country is ill-educated on politics and foreign policy, and they vote accordingly.

I'm mad at friends that say they are friends but are nothing but people I know and have to deal with from time to time. I don't want the kind of friends that gossip about their other friends' choices when they are not around. I absolutely do not want those kind of people in my life.

And, mostly I'm mad because most of these things will never change. It will never be different than this. People just accept that this is it, and that it has always been that way, so why change it?

Is this REALLY IT?

I am just noticing how real,

and hard

and crappy

this life is sometimes.

Ugh. Boo. Arr. Ugh.

Please let the sun set soon.

7 and 18 months

This Saturday we took our little ones to the Jackson Zoo (hoping that it would bring more entertainment than the lovely Monroe one). Harrison had a blast saying all of the animals names, not saying he got them all correct, but he loved the big animals.

And, Scene:
Daddy: "Harrison, look at the tall giraffe!"
H: "Ahh, Duck, Duck!"

Daddy: "No, there aren't any ducks in there, son"

It was a fun time, he also liked the otters. My favorite everytime!

Anyone answer me this: Why are there always so many monkeys at EVERY zoo? Those little guys sure do procreate! I mean they are everywhere.

Here is H pointing at the Otters playing in their tank.

B, totally stoked about being at the Zoo.

Loadin' up The Daycare Wagon after the Penguins

We also found a new growing community called Flowood, sounds ghetto, I know, but it was the first and just about only Babies 'R' Us in the southern hemisphere. Russ took me for a treat. I love that store. Can't wait to let B wear her new leapoard and giraffe printed guitar pjs! Adorable. I love finding special things that no one else will have but them.

Sunday we found out that YES, it is too much to ask to get a picture of brother and sissy smiling, let alone sitting at the same time. I'm so glad we used a cheap coupon from JCPenney, because it costs about 500 bucks these days to get any REAL photographer to take a few shots, rediculous. We will do those at the One year/two year old time around January for their big birthday party. These turned out decent for what she had to work with...a screaming B and a running, fit throwing H. Poor lady.

So, as it turns out...I get great shots of B smiling, laughing and the such in her carrot-stained Carter's get up, but nothing in her pretty clothes. H would smile at a trashcan, if only you could get him to stand still long enough for the camera to focus, oh, and to keep his hair out of his eyes.

Here are a few of the new ones:

Poor little B. Here is the crying smile we got of her after Harrison smashed her finger in one of the props. And, below is the face H made when we caught him smashing her finger. No, kidding. But it does look a bit mischievieous...never Harrison though. No way.

Also, please note the sidebar has changed...there are some of the favorites along with the "Too-many-collages-allowed-on-one-blog" to enjoy!

Boob Job

I must say, if you are one of those super nosey readers, and the overwhelming urge to click on my blog based on the title of this post swept over you just now, you will be sadly disappointed.

It has been an exciting 8 months getting to know our little B. Her smile lights up any room, and she has a special sweetness I cannot get tired of. I was not as successful with nursing H as I have been with Bailynn. If you know my children, it doesn't take a scientist to understand why that is pure fact. Last year, I came pretty close to hospitalization trying to get through my 9 week post-partum recovery and STILL was dead set on nursing Harrison. We tried everything and had tons of help with the La Leche League, Consultants and Pediatricians beyond. H had a regressed chin, a high palate and a flat tongue. Wow! Add that up, plus recovery of a 23 hour exhausting natural labor, and there I sat.

Then, there was Baby Bailynn. A complete breastfeed baby until July. Since we have moved this last time, I have had a huge drop in milk supply. Call it what you will, it is almost gone. I have been nursing her 2 to 3 times daily for the past month, and it is almost time for my "Boob Job" to end. I'm getting fired.

I have had many supporters in this trying time that have given me SO much knowledge and motivation to keep going. They have also told me to make sure we are both ready when the time comes to quit, because once it is gone, it is gone for good. I think we are both getting to that point and as of yesterday we are down to one feeding a day. It is quite painful to lose your supply, that is why I have dropped out one feeding at a time. We are almost there.

Thank you Alyssa, Mom and Laura for helping me along this journey. Besides natural chidbirth, twice, breastfeeding is the absolute hardest thing I HAVE EVER DONE! You all have been my cheerleaders all the way through. I am so proud of us for looking past the physical aspects that remain and trying our best to give our babies the best nutrition we can give them. I love you guys, and I will owe you for a lifetime.

I must say that if someone is not sure if our God exist, they should just get pregnant. I have learned so many things from my Savior during this amazing process as I watch how he changes my body for childbearing.

I am so lucky to have these babies and hopefully I will be healthy enough to complete our family one day...in a decade or so!

Sending my props to all the breastfeeders out there! (hehe)